Alchemy: Blood, Urine, & Oxygen

Written Thursday, Posted today (Saturday)...

Ah, so brutal! if it had not been for the amazing emails I got, which by the way some were hilarious, I’m not too sure I could have survived. Honestly between being down right scared of the chemo and insulin procedure (IPT), I barely had enough energy to squeeze out some tears when Nurse Shirley tried tapping into my port. My only thought was “Hum, tied up again…hum, what is God (The Universe) trying to tell me…?” I guess that is a conversation for another day. But if anybody knows, please share.

I will say, some things are very different than 2002. First off, the amount of information (thanks to Mike) has been overwhelming…I have to admit, sometimes I question my choice in doing the IPT therapy, especially when you can punch it into Google and get a “Quack Report”. Then I think back to round one in ‘02…Ah, yes, some of you that receive this will remember.

2002. My hair never grew back the same, eyelashes never the same, infertile, and MAC loves me because at this point I’m a life buyer of their eyebrow pencil, lumpectomy, radiation, and some more chemo…and the cancer came back! So, when I tend to question the efficacy of combining urine, my own blood, and oxygen together only to be poked with a massive needle to have it given back to me I just think back on the 2002 days.

Stanford doctors told me that I would be probably battling cancer for the rest of my life – but they did nothing to supplement the attack on those cancer cells. I can’t help but question myself either. Did I do enough, see enough, act in defense enough…maybe not. Forgiveness has to be quick right now, there is no time for regrets or thinking backwards, time to move on.

Here is the schedule: Monday and Thursday are my IPT infusion days with an infusion of DMSO (makes me smell like garlic), and a hydrogen peroxide infusion. I fondly think of these days as “pass out days”. Tuesday and Wednesday are Vitamin C infusions, with UB-Isodes (the urine, blood, & oxygen thing), and an hour in the infrared sauna to help detox the body. I fondly think of these days as “vibrate days”. Vibrate days because the vitamin C being dripped into the port spills into the heart, and the heart pumps it out into the rest of the body – it makes you tingle and vibrate. I also found it endearing when the 17 year old kid in front of me, Andre, said the Vitamin C made him vibrate.

Passing out on Monday was frightening, but I have to admit, for anybody that has ever smoked one marijuana joint in their life (I know none of you have ever done this but just pretend you have), this is what it felt like – for a split, fleeting, nano-second! Then I realized my sugar had dropped so low that I was going to pass out… they injected the glucose back into my system and said “OK, good girl, you can eat”.

“you can eat”, I guess now that I think about it, IPT and getting high have another thing in common: the munchees??? I don’t think I’ve ever heard such sweeter words in my life, I devoured my lunch that my mom and Mike had brought me back. As I was mentioning yesterday to my fellow infuser, I’ve had some of the most amazing dinners (most recently Gjelina, Axe, Nobu…my mother’s arroz con pollo or dad’s ceviche). I am mortified to say, sorry, all of the above have been kicked to the curb.

Let me introduce to you the finest food my pallet has ever experienced. Welcome to the Nevada Center Lunch Special, catered by Mike Murphy and Mom! There is nothing better than a strawberry Yoplait yogurt cooled at just the right temperature being walloped in your mouth by a plastic spoon, followed by some SaveMart broiled chicken, with a dash of green salad and just the right amount of Paul Newman’s salad dressing (who cares what flavor it was it tasted delicious). Oh, and I guzzled a small Sunny Delight OJ like there was no tomorrow. At that point I felt like there probably wasn’t. I invite all of you to question what in the hell would make anybody in there right mind think this is a 5 star meal. Ha, the only thing missing was a good glass of red wine. That’s my Monday and Thursday.

So as I write this it’s about 8 a.m. and I am watching my mother pacing back and forth in the kitchen, she does that when she’s nervous, I realize the week has gone so quickly and we’re back on “pass out” day. Thursday. This time I have a change of shirt so that when the insulin kicks in and I’m recovering I’ll be able to change a Bikram Yoga like drenched shirt and not freeze as I come around and have lunch. Lovely thought, lunch – wonder what I’ll have today.

Please email me, text, facebook, whatever; you all put such a huge smile on my face! Wish me luck. Highway 395 here we come.

PS. Did I tell you how the other day my mom drove back from Nevada to Truckee and had no idea that at a state agriculture stop you ARE suppose to stop! She flew right through the toll! I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she was thinking she had a fast-track on the dash! I screamed at her, she came to a screeching stop and started to reverse; the state trooper was already starting to run to hit some sort of alarm…She did reverse back, and luckily the gentleman was very forgiving, though very red and flustered.

Here are a few of the comments I got from my last email … XOXOX

text to me: There is nothing worse than a Latina mom
driver, except maybe a Chinita (translated to little Chinese for the Spanish
impaired) mom driver!
…By the way, your mom is not the only bad driving mom.
My mom has been able to increase her insurance premium by hitting 1 moving car
and 2 other times hitting parked cars at supermarkets. My dad is not a happy
camper.
…be strong and all will go well. say your prayers. kiss your mom and
dad. smack mike in the back of his head. everyone is here to love you, it will
be Christmas again. Enzo and Portia will be laughing and playing near the tree.
you will be healthier and stronger. you will be 37.
…I was boxing today and
when I was hitting the bag I was thinking of it being the cancer in your body
and I was knocking it out!!!